you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When are your genitals available?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
