I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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