How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
