does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
