is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
