Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize