A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
