yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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