in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
