maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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