i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
