recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
