PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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