You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
