I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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