worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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