We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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