I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
