Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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