I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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