If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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