Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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