some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
