Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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