i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
