Screwed.edu
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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