She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
