marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
