wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
