just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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