she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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