My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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