I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
