So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
