I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
