And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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