Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
