Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
