i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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