How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
