Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
