Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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