you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
