Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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