he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
