my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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