is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
