talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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