what day is it and did you see me today?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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