I'm really into asian looking animals
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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