what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
