Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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