I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
