thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
