This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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